Navigating Teen Years with Autism: Shaving

Welcome to my new series! Considering that we are currently navigating the teenage years with autism, I thought I would share our crazy adventures.  Teenage years can be so daunting even without autism.  Add in the idiosyncrasies  of autism and all that brings gives you a whole new animal.  Luckily you have me to go before you to experience the sights and smells. Oh the glorious smells of a teenage boy!

One of the rites of passage for being a teenager is shaving.  To be honest, I put this off as long as possible.  I tried to give him a quick shave with the clippers every time I gave him a haircut.  That went over for only so long.  First, he wouldn't let me shave his mustache which was becoming quite apparent. It looked like a fallen eyebrow for goodness sake.  Not to mention that the sideburns were growing in faster than I was giving him a haircut.  Don't get me wrong.  The haircut thing was a completely viable option for the beginning.  He was alright with it as long as it was quick and I didn't dawdle. That was do able for only so long.

As it became apparent that he would need to start shaving on a more regular basis, I enlisted Michael's help.  One, I've never been a teenage boy.  Two, I've never shaved my face.  I vocalized what I perceived his sensory needs and issues were to Michael and what I wanted the outcome to be.  He listened patiently as he always does and gave me some options.

            Regular razor and shaving cream.  

The hazard to this was that you could feel it scraping the skin.  In addition, it did sting if you had a dull razor or got nicked in any way.  We quickly decided that this was not an option for Logan.

           An electric razor 

This was more Logan.  Since he allows me to cut his hair with clippers now, it seemed logical that he would be amenable to an electric razor.  The question became which kind of electric razor?  Who knew that there were so many different varieties of electric razor?  Seriously?  There is quite the plethora of choices.  The only way to find out which one was trial and error. 

For us, we went with the three head variety.  The coil one kind tends to yank the hair out.  I determined that he most likely wouldn't like that one based on his current sensory needs. Since we want him to use it on a regular basis,  we need him to be quite comfortable with it and make positive episodic memories. 

Logan was gracious enough to allow Nana & Papa to buy him one for Christmas.  This is when I love that autism has made him logical.  I was able to present a logical argument for him getting it as a present.  Of course they bought him the Bible Experience on mp3 so he really could have cared less what else they got him.

This is when encouragement goes a long way.  Michael took him into the bathroom where they talked about all the ins and outs of the razor.  I thought it was the most boring conversation I have ever overheard.  Apparently Logan thought it was great because they were in there forever.  I shooed them out at least twice to use the bathroom.  We live in a one bathroom house here. Cut me some slack.  After all the ins and outs were done, they actually used it! 

Every single time he uses it, we make a big deal about it.  Lots and lots of positive reinforcement here and really exaggerated over the top praise.  Our goal is to make the positive connection in his brain that shaving is something he wants to do.  Sort of a necessary event that isn't terrible to do.  After he does it for awhile, we will back down on the exaggerated praise until it becomes a daily occurrence without any prompting.  We aren't there yet.  We are still making the connections.  

The main point here is that we made the event successful for him by taking into account his sensory needs .  Our main goal at first was not to make him shave.  It was to make him feel competent at doing a personal task that he would need to accomplish on a regular basis.  This one task will make him feel more confident to try more tasks.  In the end, that's what important. All the other tasks will fall into place. 

I am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination.   I don't even play one on tv.  I simply live it day in and day out and share what works and what doesn't with all of you.  Will it work for you?  Maybe. Maybe not.  There is a saying that if you have one child with autism then you have one child with autism.  Every child with autism is different.  This is what worked for us.  As with all things autism. take what you need and leave the rest.